Hard to Explain
by Rapunzel452
Summary: Jam Session 13, a fic set between Bohemian Rhapsody and My Funny Valentine. The Bebop's heater breaks - I promise it's not porn. Enjoy!


****

Hard to Explain

A disjointed percussion of scuffles and thuds woke Spike from his nap. "What's with all the noise?"

"Faye's going through storage," Jet replied, not looking up from the TV.

"Uh-huh. Why?"

"She claims to be looking for anything that could be useful to us somehow. Frankly, I think she's just looking for something to sell."

"Heh...I wish her luck." Spike leaned over to see the TV screen. "Since Faye's going through our old junk to make some cash, I take it there's nobody worth going after.  
"Nope." Jet snapped off _Big Shot_ and sighed. "Why can't criminals aim high anymore?"

WHAM!!

Spike and Jet exchanged a puzzled glance. "Faye?" Jet called out.

"Nothing broke!"

Both men rolled their eyes. "Remind me again how many children are on this ship?"

"Just the one, I think - Ed's easier to handle."

The next few minutes were peaceful enough, but two heavy bangs and a clatter brought the respite to an end. "What the hell is she doing in there, anyway?"

"Breaking our junk, by the sound of it." Spike, nonchalant as always, lit up a cigarette.

Jet followed suit with one of his own. "Why can't she break her own junk?"

"Because she doesn't have any," Spike said with a laugh.

"Yeah," Jet chuckled. "Now she not only owes us for all the food, water, and resources she's leeched, she owes us some new garbage too." This prompted another laugh from Spike, but the humor of the situation died with another noise: the unmistakable crackle of shattering glass. "God dammit Faye!" Jet shouted, rising to his feet. He took a few steps towards the storage room, but in the next instant was thrown to the floor as a giant crash rocked the Bebop. 

Within seconds calm was restored, and Jet managed to clamber to his feet. "What the hell...?"

Faye was in the doorway in another moment. "That one wasn't me!"

"What hit us?" Spike looked around in confusion.

"Don't know - a meteor, floating debris...at any rate, I need to have a look at the damage. Faye, go find Ed and make sure she's ok."

"Why me?"

"Just do it," Jet snapped wearily.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes and walked off.

"I'm ok too, by the way," Spike offered good-naturedly.

Jet smirked. "Congratulations." With that, he headed off to see about the damage.

*****

Within an hour, Jet had finished his assessment, and the Bebop's inhabitants gathered to hear it. "Ok, gang - I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, the damage is minor and will be easily fixable once we land on Mars in about fourteen hours or so. We'll be fine until then."

"So what's the bad news?" Faye asked.

"The bad news is that the impact took out the heater."

"...What?"

"We don't have heat?"

"We're in _outer space_! You call that minor?"

"All right, look." Jet raised his hands for quiet. "It's not as bad as it sounds. Life support will keep the temperature above freezing - "

"How far above freezing?" Faye cut in.

"We shouldn't get below forty degrees."

"Fahrenheit?" Spike asked in disbelief.

"That's right."

A chorus of complaints greeted this news. Jet was quick to squelch them: "Now, look - it's just for one night, so I don't want to hear any more whining. There are plenty of extra blankets around. We'll be a little chilly, but this is not that big a deal."

Three pairs of skeptical eyes stared back at him, clearly showing that his comrades did not agree.

*****

Sleep doesn't come easily in temperature extremes. If you're too hot or too cold, chances are you won't sleep well, if at all. However, experiencing one extreme tends to make you long for the other. Funny how that works. Case in point: after several hours of trying to get some shut-eye while curled up under piles of extra blankets, the Bebop crew would have given anything to be too hot. When comfort is on the line, people will often resort to tactics they know will fail - which would explain why Faye chose to sneak into Spike's room in the middle of the night.

"Spike... you awake?"

He rolled over to find Faye standing next to him, wrapped up in a quilt. "Yeah... what is it?"

"Um..." she blushed slightly. "Can I get in there with you?"

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me."

"C'mon! It's so cold..." she shivered a little to dramatize her point. "I can't get any sleep! And... y'know... body heat..."she concluded sheepishly.

Spike stared at her for a moment, eyebrow arched... "Goodnight, Faye," he said, turning back over.

"Spike!" The woman grabbed his elbow. "Please? I'm _freezing_!"

Jerking his arm violently away from her cold fingers, he rolled over with his back to her. "No way in hell... you want body heat so badly, go curl up with Ein."

"Oh, ha ha." She crossed her arms indignantly. After a pause: "I tried that. Ed's hogging him. Just let me in, huh?"

"No."

"Please?"  
"No!"

"I'm not leaving here until you do!"

"Have fun."

"Dammit, Spike!" she huffed in frustration, stamping her foot. "You can't tell me you're not cold!"

He let out an irritated growl...it was true, he was cold, and would give damn near anything to be warmer... "All right, fine. Back to back, and don't put your feet on me. Got it?"

"Thank you!" Faye chirped, sliding in next to him. Spike rolled his eyes, glad for the warmth but not too happy about the company.

"You better not snore or anything."  
"And you better not drool on the pillow like you do when you nap on the couch," she shot back.

Spike fought off the urge to kick her, and just decided to make the best of it and get some sleep. Happily, his companion had decided the same thing.

*****

"Faye!" a voice whispered urgently, cutting through her dream. Slowly coming awake, she mentally cursed whatever was waking her up... and mentally cursed again when she saw it.

"What do you want?"

"Can Ed get in too?"

"No way in hell. Go away."

"Please? Ed's cold!"

"No, dammit! Go curl up with Ein. I was finally getting some sleep." With that, she snuggled back under the blanket. Ed didn't say anything more, and soon Faye was asleep again.

*****

Jet crept down the hallway in search of another blanket... he just couldn't get warm enough. Passing by Spike's room, something caught his eye. He peeked in the partially open door, and blinked in surprise. "What the...?"

*****

Slowly, awareness came to him...he was in darkness. He was warm, and surrounded on all sides by something relatively soft. It was comfortable, the kind of comfortable that feels as if you aren't sensing anything at all... as if you have no body. Spike tried to move, but found himself unable to. 

_I can't move._

I can't feel my arms and legs.

I'm dead. 

That must be it....

I wonder how it happened...

I'm dead and it smells like dog.

I wonder if anyone will miss me...

Jet will.

I owe Jet money.

Ha ha.

Faye might miss me...

Faye owes me money.

Dammit.

...Wait, dog?!

Spike opened his eyes to find himself face-to-face with Ein, who was fast asleep. Spike blinked, and glanced behind him - coming face-to-face with Jet, who was also fast asleep. A moment's consideration told Spike he'd rather be looking at Ein, so he turned back. As his head became clearer, he recalled the events of last night - namely, letting Faye in bed with him so they'd both be warmer. That didn't explain, however, why Faye was now curled up against him, why Ein was cuddled into the pillow just above her head, why Jet was snuggled in behind him, or why Ed was sprawled out over all of them. He shifted a bit, trying to move, and found he was still trapped. "Faye?" he said quietly.

No response. 

"Faye?" he tried again, a little louder. This time, she stirred.

"Hmmm?"

"What did I say to you when I let you in here last night?"

She rubbed her eyes sleepily with one hand. "Um... back to back, and don't put my feet on you," she mumbled.

"Right. So how do you explain _this?_"

Faye, waking up a little more, glanced around and noticed Ed. "Hey... I told her to get lost..."

"Faye, the only reason I haven't done anything about this yet is because I can't feel my left arm. And that's my punching arm."

"Oh, quit complaining. You're warm, aren't you?"

"...Ok, I'll give you that one."

"Good. Now hush, I've got more sleeping to do." She snuggled in against him and dozed off, oblivious to his attempts to get her off of him.

*****

It had taken him close to half an hour, but Spike had managed to untangle himself from the pile. Taking one of the extra blankets with him, he headed off to sleep near the engine, preferring its warmth to that of his shipmates. Ein woke soon after, sensing his absence. Finding the main source of heat gone, the dog hopped off the bed and began searching. He soon found Spike's new sleeping spot, and joined him. Ed followed the pattern, taking off after Spike and Ein and inviting herself to doze there as well. 

Of course, all of this happened unbeknownst to Faye. After a few more hours, she began to wake up again. She felt a chill, and snuggled up to the person next to her, thinking Spike had moved away from her in his sleep.

"Good morning, sunshine."

Faye's eyes popped open. That wasn't Spike. She raised her head - and found herself cozied up to the only other person left after the engine-room exodus: Jet.

"EEEEEEEEEE!" Her startled shriek echoed through the Bebop as she scrambled away. Jet, for his part, was clearly very amused by the whole thing.

"Was it good for you too?" he asked with the barest hint of a smirk.

POW!!

Faye brandished her pillow like a sword, ready to hit him again if she saw the need. "That is SO not funny."

*****

So what's the lesson here? Simple: there's comfortable, and then there's _too_ comfortable.

And what's the real lesson? 

When you're stuck for an ending, rip off your favorite episode and call it an homage. 

The End

__

And the chance of being right is looking kinda remote...


End file.
